acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman:

pimpunderthemountain:

careful-with-that-ass-eugene:

I’m so excited because I found out today that this little guy exists

He’s a Western Blind Snake and he looks like a very shiny earthworm

HE LOOKS SO HAPPY

Y’all are all excited over a shoelace

(via marlainthesea)

debilitati0n:

bettervillains:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

  

The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between

(via andasheswillfall)

bombing:

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

(via funkthis)

Anonymous Asked:
Which snakes are the ones that can (and have) killed and eaten small dogs, cats, and/or children? They're an invasive species in Florida. Is it the Burmese Python, or a type of anaconda? I might want to get a Burmese Python someday if possible, but I'm a small 5'3" female and I don't want it to try and eat me haha

alltailnolegs:

fuckyeahballpythons:

Wow, lots of points to address in this one;

  • Large constrictors are not for first-time snake owners
  • There is no verified evidence that has shown any large constrictor successfully eating or even habitually preying upon humans. There is no verified evidence to show that any large constrictor in modern history has successfully consumed a human.
  • Captive bred large constrictors will not prey upon dogs and cats and should not be handled in ways where they are allowed to pose a threat to other pets. Wild large constrictors will typically stick to their common prey items however invasive populations displaced from their native habitats or populations living in urban areas are known to prey upon dogs and cats.
  • The only species of snake that is suggested to actively prey upon humans is the Reticulated Python but this claim is largely based around hearsay and the small pool of attacks that have been recorded, which means that this claim is likely false.
  • Large constrictors are not for first-time snake owners
  • Although it is possible for any large constrictor to harm and even kill a person, they do not see humans are a prey item and incidences where people are harmed by these animals are always caused by irresponsible handling practices such as insecure enclosures, dangerous feeding practices, and handling while very inebriated. Learning how to safely house and handle large constrictors, like using snake hooks and the buddy system, cuts down these risk factors significantly. 
  • Over 3000 people die in car crashes every day, large constrictors only fatally attack humans like once every couple of years. Getting into your car statistically poses a larger threat than responsible handling of a large constrictor.
  • Children should not be allowed to interact with large constrictors without strict supervision from an experienced handler.
  • Large constrictors are not for first-time snake owners
  • Burmese, African Rock, and Reticulated Pythons all have been recorded as invasives in Florida at some point in time with Burms being the only established species of the three.
  • Even though Burms have the largest range of any invasive large constrictor, they are only established in only a few counties in southern Florida as they can only survive in tropical climates.
  • Large constrictors are not for first-time snake owners

TL;DR, you should not seek ownership of a Burmese Python if you are this uninformed about their ecology and view this animal as an active threat to your well being.

Large constrictors of many species are rewarding captives for many keepers but they require a deep amount of respect and a lot of responsibility both in part because they can pose a significant risk when mishandled but also because so many people are misinformed about these animals. Every person who purchases a large constrictor with out the knowledge to responsibly keep it, every mishandling that results in injury or even death, every animal that ends up being surrendered when it becomes too large only contributes to the stigma that surrounds these fascinating creatures which is then used as fuel for people to push for banning these snakes. 

If you would like to get into keeping pythons or boids, start out with a smaller beginner friendly species such as a BP, Children’s Python, Kenyan Sand Boa, or a Rosy Boa.

image

Also not to mention big snakes like burms are no joke expensive to keep. Dumat is still a kiddo and is currently downing 3-4 medium rats a week, will eventually be taking things like jumbo rabbits or chickens each meal, which are not only expensive but also expensive to ship on ice AND you need a space to freeze that amount of food (I just bought an entire extra freezer). That’s well over a thousand right there, and you’ll spend probably close to another thousand for a good burm-proof cage. And for all that money you get the grand prize of mucking out gallons of pee and poop as big as a horse’s.

That is not what a lot of people would consider fun.

seansoo:

seansoo:

having thick ass hair is such a pain i just want smooth thin silky beautiful hair that waves in the wind while the sun shines elegantly in the background

disclaimer: i do not have hair on my ass. i was referring to hair on my head, thanks

(via captainironears)

lackofbliss:

I’m really glad no one was here to watch me watch that

(Source: unclefather, via m-rah)

stunningpicture:

My coworker and I found a praying mantis at work and took a picture with it. It turned out more like a gay couple’s engagement photo.

stunningpicture:

My coworker and I found a praying mantis at work and took a picture with it. It turned out more like a gay couple’s engagement photo.

(via original-redwood)

geekycrap:

this is my favourite vine ever and I will never get tired of it

(Source: weloveshortvideos, via funkthis)

orlandobloomfistmeintheass:

tastefullyoffensive:

I love the look on his face when he gets to the smallest one.

[theflyhater]

i fucking watched this

for 15 minutes

waiting for the look on his face when he gets to the smallest one

15 minutes

of staring 

i trusted you

do you understand 

how much i want to kill you right now

(via sting-sempai)

artemisfowlstolemysoul:

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.

(via kaleidoscopedreamcatcher)

illkim:

When the teacher groups you up with your friends for a project

image

(Source: illkim, via my-sweetxsanctuaryx3)

emoij:

When you don’t understand something in class but everyone else does 

image

(via my-sweetxsanctuaryx3)